Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
