how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
