Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
