It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
