i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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