STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
