Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
