Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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