How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
