Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
