Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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