I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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