So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
