So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
