She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
