it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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