im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
