Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
