She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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