No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
