dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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