God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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