My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
