what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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