After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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