Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
