i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
