when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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