no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
