Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
