so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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