Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
