just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im drinking this country out of the recession.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
