As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
