i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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