im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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