I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
