she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
