i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
