Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
