U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
