Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
