yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Randomize
