Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
