That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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