i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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