No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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