Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
