Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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