party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
