she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
